You can have rational conversations with yourself and still hold on to that small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you might actually see some miracle that defies logic. That was me this week.

Between the zoo trip and taking Hubs’ grandmother to a hip restaurant the next day, any chance of seeing results at this week’s weigh in was completely gone. And I knew it before I even went to weigh and measure. But it didn’t make it sting any less. Ever since the zoo I’ve been in a bad head space. I’m working my butt off and fighting daily battles against my cravings and moods, and I want to see small results that help me stay on the right path.

So the zoo was an obvious disaster for me. The next day Hubs returned to work and my day was jam-packed. We had tree people cut down a dead tree in the backyard, then I took the kids into South Park (the fancy part of Charlotte) to pick up their great-grandmother and take her to lunch using a gift card I’d been holding on to (for a date that never materialized) for nearly a year. The restaurant itself was awesome. Called Cowfish, it had a menu of burgers and sushi, and something called burgooshi. I had a mushroom swiss burger (on a normal bun) and a side of grilled vegetables (zucchini and squash). We also got dessert, which turned out to be this giant tower of carbs. I had some, and it was pure heaven.

The “moose is loose” dessert at Cowfish: brownies and mousse.

I imagine when I ate a that dessert that my body went into the same frenzy that Black Friday shoppers go into. It is that kind of crazy where you’re punching old ladies in the face while trying to stockpile cheap TVs in your cart and shoving other crazed shoppers so you can get to the smart phones. In my head, my stomach is seeing those sweet carbs and it says, “OH SCHNIKES! Grab those carbs!! Shove them here and here! Hurry!” So a week of working hard at the gym and trying to make good food decisions could be completely erased by indulging in a bit of mousse.

Once we got home from our outing it was too late to make the dinner I had planned. The chicken required 2 hours of marinade time and I only had about 30 minutes. Instead I preheated the oven for the frozen pizza I got for everyone else and took a stab at the cauliflower crust recipe I found on Pinterest. It has potential but it is definitely NOT on the level of Blaze Pizza’s crust. Where I messed up (see a pattern this week?) is I forgot to get a sauce for my pizza. I tried Italian dressing, then topped the crust with olives, mushrooms and fresh mozzarella. The cheese was great, but the mushrooms tasted like raw mushrooms because by the time the cheese was good and melted the mushrooms hadn’t had a chance to absorb any of the Italian dressing flavor.

My attempt at cauliflower crust

I’m going to say it was a learning experience. First, the recipe said you could use “riced” cauliflower and skip the food processor step in making the crust. Nope. I need to pulverize those cauliflower chunks more. I also think it should go in a cooler oven to prevent it from browning so quickly on the edges. Mine was almost burnt by the time I put on toppings.

I keep hinting at this, but I’ve really been in a dark place this week. I ran out of my NAC supplement, and I think it may actually affect my mood more than I realized. I ordered more, and I’m determined not to let a bad week get the best of me. Anyway, here are the current weigh-in numbers.