I haven’t posted in 2 days. This past week has been incredibly hard and has forced me to put a lot of things into a healthier perspective.

It started with the dog. Hubs is in one ear saying we need to rehome her sooner than later for everyone’s sakes. When she’s in a new environment she loses her mind with overstimulation, which makes it hard for potential families to see her true personality. Instead they are intimidated by the insanity of this clumsy dog and turn her away. The anxiety of it all wrecked my sleep. I had trouble going to sleep. I had trouble staying asleep. When Bubs inevitably came to our room every night around 1 a.m. and I put him back in his bed, I would toss and turn for another 2 hours unable to turn off my brain.

So I surrendered her to the animal shelter on Sunday with tears in my eyes. I wrestled with that regret for the rest of the day. When the kids got back from church I had out all the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies.  They love to bake and it would be a distraction from the missing dog. I still struggled. After a lot of prayers and devotionals, I decided not to pick up that baggage any longer and started to move on.

After a lot of prayers and devotionals, I decided not to pick up that baggage any longer and started to move on.

The next day we went to the gym and Carowinds. The wound was starting to heal … until Hubs texted me that he missed the dog. Within 5 minutes I had both kids in the car and drove down to the shelter to reclaim her. By this point I am completely drained emotionally and physically. The shelter gives me a really hard time for surrendering her, which I expected. They then tell me that as soon as I left on Sunday they basically threw out all the stuff I left with her there (food, collar, leash, 3 months of flea prescription, all her paperwork). I get it, but dang.

The dog is so overstimulated from her time in the clink that she’s not even really acknowledging that her people are back. It isn’t until she gets home, runs around the yard trying to find a bunny in my flower beds then takes a nap on the couch that she is back in her right mind. Hubs is her person, so she wasn’t truly happy until she saw him. And for the first time in nearly a week I got good sleep.

…for the first time in nearly a week I got good sleep.

The next day we took the dog for a spa day at Petco, where she got a bath, breath refresh and nail buff (with nail pawlish because WTF). She came back looking and smelling great. While she was gone we went to Walmart to replace almost all of her stuff, which the kids enjoyed. I also made it a point to tell the kids some new ground rules to give her space at specific times (i.e. sleeping) so we don’t have to constantly worry about whether she’s going to nip them again.

This week is also that time and I’m an achy mess. I think it is a result of the terrible sleep and anxiety I held onto for several days. I refuse to stop going to the gym, so when my back was catching like it did when I suffered through sciatica, I just added back extensions to my workout. I did “cheat” this week and get into those chocolate chip cookies, but otherwise didn’t completely fall off the carb-reduction wagon.

But here is where I’m honestly stunned.

I didn’t wait until Saturday to weigh. I’m apparently a glutton for punishment so I stepped on a scale this morning to see just what kind of ugliness PMS added to my shoulders this week. It showed an almost 5 pound drop from 4 days ago. That can’t possibly be right. Did the kids mess with the tare? Is there something wedged under it? I learned my lesson: I’ll stay away until Saturday and see if it was truly a fluke or if I managed to worry 5 pounds away.

We are closing in on the last week of summer break for Peanut, and it is definitely to that part of summer where I am ready for a break from my kiddos. I’ve been in Mom Mode for 2 full months and the strain of having to take them with me everywhere has depleted all my good energy. I daydream about grocery shopping alone, or going on walks at a brisk pace.

I’m coasting on E and ready for a pit stop.