Hubs and I celebrated 13 years of marriage this week with what is likely one of the most low-key dates ever. It was awesome.

date night!

First we hit up our local favorite pizza spot for a few slices before going to an arcade and grabbing ice cream. Hubs asked if it was OK if we got pizza, since I’ve bailed on gluten for the most part. Tonight was a celebration, and the man loves pizza. Pizza it shall be.

But there’s one thing that is more important than me eating some delicious pie: we are in a really good marriage groove. We’ve both reached this awesome equilibrium where we anticipate and try to meet each others’ needs. It is so well balanced right now that I am almost afraid to write about it, fearful that it might jinx what we have going.

A lot of it rests on me. You know that saying, “Whem Mom’s happy everyone’s happy”?¬†Or maybe “Happy wife, happy life”? This week has shown me just how much I’m the center of our family unit in terms of emotional wellbeing.

So what is so different?

I am able to be alone and make decisions surrounding what to do with that time. Huh? Bubs sleeps through the night. Sometimes he still naps. He’s in preschool 16 hours a week. That may not seem like a big deal, but imagine life where, even before you’ve gotten out of bed, your kids need you. They don’t even have to overtly ask, but they constantly need you. They need you to feed them, to enrich them, to keep them from head injuries. They need you to separate them, they need you to entertain them, they need you to sit in their room to protect them from the scary darkness.

They need you.

Now, with the ability to not be needed constantly, I am able to appreciate being needed. I am able to field a request to sit and read a book without feeling pulled in at least 3 directions. It is such a beautiful feeling because I feel like I’m no longer barfing my anxiety onto my family. Without that swirling vortex of negativity, I have the ability to enjoy their company.

Self care is making me a better wife and mom.