I spent the last week in reflection and self care. They busyness of life prevented me from going to the gym for weight training or really giving proper attention to my meals. But for this one week I allowed it. I didn’t beat myself up over it or consider the week a failure.

I consider it to be the first real step toward getting to know the me that I’m becoming. In other words: I think I hit a mid-life crisis.

I can understand why folks go get new careers or sports cars or tattoos when they hit this MLC. I started researching landscaping design classes or furniture making classes at the local community college. I looked on Zillow for homes on a minimum of 10 acres in the region. I researched all-inclusive resorts in the Caribbean. I pinned ideas for master bath remodels to Pinterest. It wasn’t because I intend to actually do these things in the near future. It was more the idea that I want to be free to at least consider them without guilt. That it is OK to look and daydream about big plans without the condemnation of present logistics.

I’m climbing out of the Dark Place yet again.

Recharging helped.

I think allowing myself to mentally explore life’s possibilities helped. Taking deep dives in conversations with friends also helped. Allowing myself to have quiet time helped. Recharging helped.

I know I need to re-establish the habits I started in the summer. Not only to help me keep on pace toward my goals, but also because I feel like a mud puddle when I get to the end of the day and realize I didn’t eat a piece of fruit or vegetable the entire day. I stepped on the scale today for the weekly weigh-in and was pleasantly surprised. I chalk it up to the end of the monthly cycle and not anything I actively chose to eat or lift.

Today I’m taking the family out to a nature preserve to attempt to get portraits for our Christmas card. I’m bringing the tripod so I can be in as many of them as possible.

Life is good.