One of the real beauties of parenting small children these days is you’re exposed to a lot of movies and TV geared toward them. Ever seen Trolls? It is fantastic. We were listening to a specific song from that movie in the car on the way home from the zoo yesterday and it hit me in the feels.

See, I’ve completely slipped down the sand dune. Remember the sand dune? This idea that I can work really hard and see some results, but if I let up I’ll slip back down the hill. Right back to where I started.

That’s where I am right now. All that progress. All the exercise habits I tried to establish.  All the low-carb lifestyles I tried to take root. I’m back to Square One.

So when this song came on Pandora Radio for Kids yesterday, it hit just the right spot. For the first time in YEARS I’m going to do the thing where starting January 1 I right this ship.

I really hope I can do it ’cause they’re all depending on me. I know that I must leave the only home I’ve ever known and brave the dangers of the forest, saving them before they’re eaten. I mean, how hard can that be?

See in the Trolls movie Princess Poppy takes it upon herself to save her entire village from impending doom. Everything is working against her, even those in her village who don’t think she can do it. It reminds me of how I read all these things about how almost impossible it is to get weight off with PCOS. Then I read about how weight loss needs to be a true lifestyle change for it to stick. I’m staring down a big sand dune and I have to choose between tackling it or coming to terms with it.

Looking up at a sunny sky, so shiny and blue and there’s a butterflyWell, isn’t that a super fantastic sign it’s gonna be a fantastic day. Such marvelousness it’s gonna bring, got a pocket full of songs that I’m gonna sing, and I’m ready to take on anything. Hooray! Some super fun surprise around each cornerJust riding on a rainbow, I’m gonna be okay.

But I’m not some Gen Z troll marching off into a felt-covered forest with an unabated positive outlook on accomplishing my mission. I’ve spend my entire adult life yo-yo dieting. I know the task ahead is daunting and that I’m likely going to want to give up in about 6 weeks. Then I’m going to get a wake-up call a few weeks later and jump back on the wagon to restart.

Hey! I’m not giving up today. There’s nothing getting in my way. And if you knock knock me over,  I will get back up again. Oh! If something goes a little wrong, well you can go ahead and bring it on, ’cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again.

Can you see why this song hit me in the feels now? It feels like an anthem. I have all the tools I need: the knowledge, the experience of what works. Now I just have to do it — and stick to it.

I’m marching along I got confidence. I’m cooler than a pack of peppermints and I haven’t been this excited since I can’t remember when! I’m off on this remarkable adventure just riding on a rainbow.

Sounds rosy, huh? The best part of the song  is in the next lines, though:

What if it’s all a big mistake? What if it’s more than I can take? No I can’t think that way ’cause I know that I’m really, really, really gonna be okay.

There it is. That’s my mindset heading into 2020. I still have a solid 20 months to meet my goal by my 40th birthday. I’m not going to weigh myself every week because it is causing undue stress. I think perhaps I’ll do weigh-ins less frequently, like maybe monthly or seasonally. I’m going to focus more on the act of climbing the sand dune rather than the metrics quantifying how far I’ve gone.

Hey! I’m not giving up todayThere’s nothing getting in my way. And if you knock knock me over I will get back up again. Oh!  If something goes a little wrong, well you can go ahead and bring it on. ‘Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again.