I’m struggling. I know trying to get to a healthier size is a task that is going to take more time, attention and energy than I probably have to give it right now. But I also know that I don’t like when my wedding ring is snug. Also my lower backache is back. None of those are fun.

Keeping with that thought of 1% better each day, I keep telling myself I’ll at least go on a brisk walk or work in the yard. And some days I’m able to do the yard idea, but something always pulls me away from going to the gym or going on a walk. Funny how life has the ability to do that.

So here I am. Still coming to terms with adulthood as a “plus-size woman,” and yet wrestling with how to address it.

I did buy a bikini. That makes perfect sense, right? But I did. I bought this high-waist bikini to try to jumpstart my motivation:

When I tried it on the bottom was cute. It tried to come up to the bottom of the top, but obviously I’m a little rounder than the model image so it then rolled down on itself. But the top was funny. It looks as if it would be relatively supportive. Big cups, halter tie to prevent riding up in the back like bra straps. But in reality my massive mammaries made it more X-rated than I’d prefer. The Nut thought it was downright inappropriate. Something about like this:

So while I do intend to wear a bikini this summer, I’ll likely need to invest in a different top that is better suited to containing the girls.

I’d like to think I have more to say, but that’s where I’m really struggling. I was on such a good habit-forming track in late summer. Then school happened and my emails constantly ping, drawing me back to housework and standing at my computer during my most productive hours of the day. I know I need to figure out something, I’m just not sure what the next right thing will be.