Definitely hit a plateau. For a solid month I’ve been stuck on 214 pounds. I’ve been keeping my calorie intake between 1,250-1,500, taking long morning walks frequently, drinking at least 100 ounces of water and keeping my carb intake under 100g.

Still, stuck.

This is that sand dune I’ve mentioned before. The one that will make you tumble down if you don’t keep trying to climb it. I’m tempted, like many attempts before, to give it a little break and come at it fresh in a bit. But that’s the problem. That’s literally why it yo-yos. Plus, the current plan just makes me feel better. I don’t get the aches in my joints, I don’t get the mood swings. I want to keep on this path. It would just be nice to see some results from it.

 

Gyms Reopen

The governor allowed gyms to reopen this week, so I canceled the membership to my old gym and got a new family membership to a gym with more amenities. Namely, it has a pool that allows you to reserve blocks of time for lap swimming. I’ve never been able to swim. I’m able to not drown, but never submerge my head and make my body travel in an efficient way. My goal is to, perhaps, get some adult lessons and start swimming as an alternate to long walks for my cardio. I’ve heard it is great on the joints and a great cardio workout.

I also really crave the weight lifting. I have some weights at the house, but I don’t like free weights. I like the cable machines that force my body to move in specific ways. I miss that muscle burn.

Bubs is also headed back to school after Labor Day, which means there is real potential for me to get some quality time to focus on myself.

 

They Just Don’t Understand

It is hard to communicate PCOS struggles to the family. They just don’t understand sometimes. There are days when I can’t seem to muster the energy to do anything, let alone all the household tasks that come at you on a daily basis. It isn’t laziness, it is literally that my body doesn’t want to burn any calories because I’ve put it in a calorie deficit and it is going to find any way possible to stop that.

It isn’t laziness, it is literally that my body doesn’t want to burn any calories because I’ve put it in a calorie deficit and it is going to find any way possible to stop that.

But perhaps the hardest thing is coping mechanisms. For most of my adult life I had two coping mechanisms for stress: eating and shopping. The pandemic-related quarantines pulled me out of a lot of my shopping urges because we couldn’t browse in stores for months (not that I didn’t go a little crazy online shopping). That left me with the one thing that was accessible: sweets. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of staying on top of that these days, but there is a jar of M&Ms in the pantry that I’ve been visiting during my period. I usually get a scoop of peanut butter and tuck M&Ms into it for a sweet treat. I always log the snack so it can ding me on sugars, but I know that my body still has that attraction to sweets when I’m struggling.

 

Hopeful for the Future

I am holding out tremendous hope. Things are starting to fall back into place. If we can keep the same viral trends then schools can reopen. If I can get back to the gym perhaps the added muscle mass will kick start my metabolism. Having at least one kid in school will help me focus my energy on the other when she struggles with remote learning.

There are a lot of things that can go right in the very near future, so when I start to slip I try to remind myself that it isn’t a permanent thing.